Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Why Do Animals Keep Getting Slaughtered At the Greenbelt? part 2

Okay, I did not intend for there to be more entries on this subject, but after finding more disturbing shit out at the lovely greenbelt, another entry was warranted.  I thought, "Ha ha Donist.  How clever of you on that past entry.  Who's a funny boy?  Who's a funny boy?  I am!  Yay."  But Seriously, the finds yesterday were disgusting to such a degree that even the dog wanted nothing to do with them.  Thankfully, the puppy antidepressants and the vodka soaked Beggin' Strips have calmed her down enough that she blacked out on the bed...unfortunately, she will not go near any of her stuffed animal toys.

If you really love me, you won't make me go...down there.

I'm starting to wonder why we can't just go to the little park, lie in the grass, and toss some frisbees and maybe use the Chuckit to wail the hell out of some brightly colored tennis balls and have a world free of death and carnage.  Frank Black really hit the nail on the spleen when he composed the phrase "Wave of Mutilation," because that is what is happening at our little emerald oasis.

Alright, deep breaths Donist.  You can do this.  Okay.  Yesterday at approximately 2:30 PM, I was on a late lunch break and taking poor little Tupers down to the greenbelt for some exercise and we were playing with the Chuckit until I hurled the ball almost to the opposite end of the grass.  Tulip charged like a maniac grabbed the ball and was running back to me, when she dropped the ball, looked around and walked away from it towards the edge of the creek.  Dreading that death and carnage waited near the purple and grey tennis ball, I walked over to retrieve it, only to discover that I was correct.

The iPhone can really capture some of nature's little wonders

Heinous.  The last thing that I needed was to find what I can only assume is a raccoon face.  I will withhold comment to show what I found a few steps away from this disgusting mess.

Wow!  My second gopher face in less than a month!

There you have it, our grisly discoveries down at the greenbelt of the damned.  What the f____ is going on?  Why is something: 1) killing the little critters of nature? 2) killing them and leaving their remains in the most open and visible part of the property? 3) leaving the faces of the animals and nothing else?  I could understand finding bits of fur and maybe a bone or two, but the faces?  C'MON!  That kind of shit is completely uncalled for.  Does the coyote/chupacabra/Blair Witch really have that discerning of tastes that it always leaves the face?  "Grrr...growl...grrrr...these little teeny tiny legs are simply to...grrr...die for, and the tail is simply the cherry on top of my....growl...sundae, but unfortunately the face was a bit...grrr...undercooked.  ROAR!"  Yup, it has to be a chupacabra.

I dream of a world without dismembered animal faces.
I can only guess what today's lunchtime trip to the blood-red greenbelt has in store for my little pooch and me.  Perhaps we will confine ourselves to the safety of the chain-link fence encased tennis court, or maybe I will only toss the frisbee about five feet at a time.  Maybe we won't go out there at all; it is just too disgusting.

No comments:

Post a Comment