I have done a beach cleanup and a nature preserve restoration project over the past few years and this year I volunteered to help do a cleanup at Goleta Beach, which is but two and a half miles away from my home. Even on a beautiful Friday morning at 9:00 AM, there are hardly any people milling about, with the exception of a few winos down the way at a picnic table and some wealthy retirees out for a walk, and not much in between.
Surfrider made a brief presentation along with SB Parks on their plans for Goleta Beach, which sounded very encouraging, and a group of ten of us set forth with our rubber gloves and earth-friendly bags to pick up some trash. I have never doubted the disgusting and oblivious nature of the human race, but the sheer volume of cigarette butts and what I can only guess are juicebox straw wrappers covering the lawn and the sand was distressing--thanks Arnold Schwarzenegger for vetoing the cigarette ban on public beaches, goddammit.
Angry and disappointed, Donist pressed on, filling his bag with a few pounds of garbage, while enjoying the bright sun and the sound of the gently crashing surf. The very cool part of the volunteer day was that our group had finished scouring the beach and were done by 11:30 AM and we had the rest of the day to ourselves and I was able to run home and take my puppy out to the park. Yay. Overall, the cleanup was a very positive experience and one that everyone should help with...possibly at the elementary and secondary school level to teach kids not to destroy or befoul what little nature remains in the world. I also want to see some laws created for the approved corporal punishment of litterbugs and cigarette smokers who are too moronic to take their butts away with their lazy asses. Hmmm...Major Hide and Seek for all offenders, unless they enjoy that sort of thing.
Finally, the promised weirdo. Towards the end of the cleanup when things were beginning to wind down, I noticed a car pull up near the poorly placed restroom building. A man get out of the car, laid down a towel, a yoga mat and proceeded to strip down to a speedo. He was very tan, obviously comfortable with wearing a speedo as often as possible in the sun, balding except for the circle of grayed hair on the sides of his head, and he was all about stretching.
I suppose that this sort of behavior is acceptable, and that speedos can be a possible cultural thing that should be accepted, despite my wanting to have them banned and wrapped into my proposed corporal punishment for litterbugs and beach smokers--definitely no Major Hide and Seek for this dude though, he would probably love it. The truly weird part of this whole display was in the details and the man's choice of venue. For example:
1) The man was stretching for about half an hour. Not doing yoga, only stretching.
2) He setup two feet from his car on the grass and right next to the restrooms.
3) He setup near our group.
4) There was PLENTY of space not near the parking lot, not near the repulsive restroom and not near us.
5) There were far better views available other than that of the restroom, say for instance the beautiful ocean that could be seen if one were to go on the other side of the building, or better yet away from the restroom altogether.
6) Plenty of open grass and sand that provided space and gave the feeling of being one with nature.
Apparently the dude wanted us to notice him and liked the aroma of festering lavatories mixed with the fresh ocean air. What a weirdo.
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