Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Avett Brothers and the Art of Being a Super-Fan

EmotionalismI am operating on very little sleep, got up later than usual and started writing this while half awake.  Let's see what.........shit.  Sorry, I'm back.  Caffeine is kicking in and I am somewhat ready to go.

I have to preface this by saying that I am not a Avett Brothers fan.  They are an immensely talented and important band for the times, and their originality is very welcome in a musical world currently filled with Autotuning, purity rings and Justin Bieber.  From what I could tell, the band consisted of the Avett Brothers (Scott and Seth) the bass player (Bob Crawford) and a Cellist (Joe Kwon).  There was also a drummer who played on about half of the songs, who looked remarkably like my wife's brother...if it was him, he could have at least called to let us know that he was going to be in town.  The musical abilities of each performer was something to be deeply burning-flame-of-envy-consume-my-soul jealousy.  The brothers constantly switched from guitar to banjo to piano to harmonica and banjo, to banjo and kickdrum and harmonica throughout every song and at times during songs.

For the entire show, they were constantly moving and dancing and jumping around, never once missing a  guitar strum, a bass pluck or a cello...ummmm...bowing(???).  In short, their music was infectious.  Where my response to their albums is luke warm, their live show had me singing, clapping and attempting to mouth the lyrics to songs I had never heard before.  The Avett Brothers are predominately a band that begs to be seen live.  Much in the way of someone who loves The Flaming Lips yet has not attended one of their shows, you are missing out on more than half of the experience.  It is no wonder that the band has so many diehard fans, which brings me to the main part of the review...the super-fan.  Before I get started on these...people(?)...I just need to stress that if the Avett Brothers ever come to your town, buy tickets immediately and go to their show, even if you have never heard a lick of their music.  They are the most honest, fun-loving and appreciative-of-their-audience bands that I have ever seen or heard.  Their joy and love of music is apparent from the first song to the last, and my opinion of the band has completely changed.  Hell, I might just play one of their songs right now....

Back to it.  The super-fan.  Goddamnit, where do these a-holes come from and why is there always at least one at every single show that I attend.  Seriously.  Every single show that I have attended in the past twenty plus years has, to varying degrees, had the experience diminished by someone else's love of the show...or love of the massive amounts of drugs and alcohol they were on.

For the Avett Brothers' show, our group of eight people had great seats that were slightly off to the left and spread over the second, third and fourth rows.  Unfortunately, we were immediately surrounded from behind and to the right by the local chapter of the Irritating Coalition of Desperate Avett Brothers Attention Seekers...aka...Did I Mention We Love the Avett Brothers More Than You fan club?  These people, primarily the one douche immediately behind me, screamed and sang off key and said the stupidest shit I have ever heard in my life, and that is truly saying something.

Now, someone reading my little rants might say, "Well Donist, who are you to criticize someone for having a good time?  Just because you are an old fuddy-duddy does not mean everyone else needs to be."  Okay, that is true...although at times the world would be a better place if they were, but that is another matter.  I dare someone to defend anyone who shouts at the top of their lungs, "This shit is fucking awesome!   Yeahhhhhhhh!  Damn, I am going to crap my fucking pants!  Fucking amazing!"  This exchange was shouted often, including during a slower and more mellow paced song as well.  Not enough for you?  How about this outburst: Off key screaming/singing...more off key screaming/singing and then, "Yeah!  Suck my dick!"

No, I am not joking.  At three points in the show, this guy yelled out very loud, "Suck my dick!"  I found this very confusing.  Whereas past experience has led me to believe this command to have both a negative connotation, often ending in a fist fight, or if you were very, very lucky, something else infinitely more pleasurable, but tonight the idiot behind me must have meant something else entirely.  Why not just scream, "Go team!  Yay!" during the almost classical music inspired piece with the beautiful cello and standup bass?  Why choose, "Yeah!  Suck my dick!  This is fucking amazing!" to express your joy and admiration for the band during one of the quieter moments?  I am probably just behind the times and not up on the new lingo that kids these days are throwing around.  I guess I will have to start using that expression more often.  If this is the hot new slang, then maybe at today's end of quarter summary meeting I should try it out.

Please believe me when I say that this type and level of douchebaggery was a constant for the entirety of the show.  It simply did not let up.  My wife vacillated between switching on the teacher mode and telling them to settle down, and cracking up.  I even cracked up at one point when the band was winding down and the idiot exclaimed, "Aww shit man.  All four of them are going to hit it at the same time.  Aww shit.  Watch it, watch it.... Damn!   Yeah!   Killed it."

Have to head off to work to try out some of my new expressions.  I can't wait to show everyone how hip and cool I am with my brand spankin' new lingo.  I can't wait to continue this fabulous day, walk into Mexican Fresh and yell, "Yeah!  This burrito is fucking awesome.  You guys can suck my dick!"

Avett Brothers rated absolutely great and a must see show...A-.  Douchebag super-fan, who hopefully has no voice for the remainder of his stupid little life...F+.  What a tool.



  2. Don, you crack me up!! I didn't know you had this blog. I'm subscribing!!!