Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Borders Incident 5/27/2007

The following events are true. I Found this note that I sent to myself roughly two years ago and thought I would share....

I was standing in the graphic novel section at Borders in Goleta when I saw out of the corner of my eye someone kind of loitering on my left side. I felt this creeping sensation as if I was being watched and then heard them walk around behind me and over to my right side, making it impossible for me to see them due to the slight problem of my blind right eye. Ignoring the person, I went back to my perusing of the graphic novels, but I still had that creeped out feeling as if I was being watched. Just then, I heard a young male voice say, "Fascinating…It's as if I were looking into a mirror of the future." I snapped around to the right to see a thin, not more than six feet tall, 16-17 year old boy wearing glasses, a long brown trenchcoat, and perfectly combed and gelled shorter hair. He stood there staring at me wide-eyed and silent, to which I elegantly replied, "What!?!" with marked annoyance. He repeated himself and followed with, "I find it so inspiring, to know that older people can read comicbooks and still be cool."
I was borderline ready to pummel the youth, but quickly saw that he was trying to be nice and make conversation, in what was one of the most awkward displays of being social that I have ever had to experience. He then went on to test me on my comicbook knowledge…
Kid: "Have you ever read the Preacher?"
Donist: "Yeah, it's one of my most favorite comics ever."
Kid: "Hmmm…you, of course, have read The Sandman?"
Donist: "Yeah, since it first came out…it's pretty amazing that a comic book can become so influential and important; it's actually required reading in some college courses"
Kid: "Indeed. Have you read this?" He pulls out 5 graphic novels of Transmetropolitan, by Warren Ellis and hands all of them to me.
Donist: "Uhhh…no, but I love Warren Ellis, especially The Authority and Planetary. Someday I will get Transmetropolitan, but I have to wait until I have the money to buy all of them." I hand him back all of the Transmetropolitan books.
Kid: "I see. This one is a little more obscure, but I found it quite humorous." He hands me another book, this one depicting Santa Claus standing on the ruins of a building with a beautiful woman hiding behind him as he blows away throngs of zombies with a machinegun in each hand. He hands it to me and I flip through as he continues, "If you are a fan of the Authority, then you saw the issues with Lobo?"
Donist: "I haven't seen this one before, but it looks pretty funny. Yeah, the Lobo issues were funny. I also liked the Lobo Christmas special from back in the eighties."
Kid: "Oh yes, I have to admit I got quite a chuckle from those as well. The Easter Bunny as a paramilitaristic dictator was one of the most humorous things that I have ever read."
Donist: "Yeeeaaahhhh…Well, I gotta be going. Take it easy."
Kid: "Yup. See ya."
Truly weird.


No comments:

Post a Comment