Still Thinking About Up in the Air...part 7.75

Last week, I left off with the director of my department getting...what is the phrase?  Oh yeah, "torn a new asshole" by the owner of the company.  The director then gleefully skipped out the door and on to better and brighter things a few months later, leaving his position open for someone else to voluntarily adjust the collar of their shirt, stretch their neck out as far as they could, and gently lay their head on the chopping block.  Thank you, Sir, may I have another?

Before I go down the sad treacherous road of the apparel company's demise, I almost forgot to mention the first Christmas Party that Amy and I attended.  I was three months into the new job, and I was enjoying the people worked with me, and I was *gasp* actually feeling like I was making a difference at the company; I felt valued.  What the what???  The last time I felt that way was at the game company.  It was all quite odd.  Each morning, when I climbed into the car to head over to the office, I did not have the typical, "I hate my life, I hate your life, I hate hating life," attitude that I had developed over the preceding years of gainful employment.  Again, what the what???  

The Christmas Party was held at the Bacara, which for those not in the know is a stoopidly (intentionally misspelled for dramatic effect) expensive spa and resort located on the outskirts of Santa Barbara/Goleta that caters to folks who are...well...not me.  But now...I repeat...but NOW, bitches, I was goin' to the Bacara!  The party was out of control, alcohol flowed like water, the beautiful people at the company looked more beautiful than ever, the food was insane, the door prises were grand (I won some wine and a restaurant gift certificate), and dancing went on all night.  When it came down to it, Amy and I had a blast.  We ended up talking to the manager who hired me and we got to know everyone a little better; overall a great night.  We left on the early side and went home to pass out.  Back at the office on Monday morning I learned that the Bacara was threatening to never let our company return due to the amount of throw-up in and around the premises, including on the ladies' room door handle AND because three intoxicated young men decided the fountain at the entrance of this premier establishment was a good place to relieve themselves.  No, I am not kidding.  

Anyhow, the point of the whole Christmas Party story was that the party was fun, the people I worked with were cool and nice, and I was enjoying the job....*gasp!*.  Unfortunately, I started to look at the numbers on the spreadsheets that I maintained and I began to notice that some of the Chinese factories were not shipping our apparel.  I asked the director about this and he informed me that the owner enjoyed making the vendors wait for payment and essentially beating the hell out of them.  He also said that a certain amount of ass kissing was also required by the factories to retain our business.  This struck me as odd.  "Wouldn't it be better to take our best two or three factories and treat them as partners in our business, and always pay them on time and to back off on the whole we rule, you are sniveling peons attitude that we projected," I said.  The director laughed and looked at me like I were a cute puppy that had just piddled on the floor.  "Of course, Donist, but that is not how things are done here.  Trust me, I tried."  

Shortly after my naive talk with the director, I was asked to move all of the apparel that was in production at our biggest and best factory over to a brand new factory, which was a royal pain in the ass, but I did as told; this also happened with some of the other brands as well.  Our best factory had told us to hit the bricks.  This happened with a few more factories over the course of the year, and I was repeatedly asked to pull old records for the factories we were no longer doing business with, I assume because we owed them all a truckload of money.

to be continued...

Still Thinking About Up in the Air...part 7.75

Friday Slice of Heaven, Slice Into the Woods 09/10/2010

For a four day work week, this week is dragging.  Can't wait for Friday, but there are some pretty cool things that I have come across over the past week and a pretty bad event last Friday that scared me silly.

Slice of Heaven

Labor Day Monday and a Four Day Weekend.  There's nothing better than a three-day weekend...except of course a four-day weekend.  During this nearly blissful time (see Slice into the Woods below) we went to Cold Springs Tavern to see our friends perform in their band, Holdfast Rifle Company, on a strangely warm evening.  We also had a picnic at the Rose Garden across from the Mission with a group of about ten of us, including the puppies, where I overdid it with the cheese and crackers, but whatchagonnado.  I was also able to spend a day working on my comic script and a few more on draft four of the novel--I am about ready to write a query and synopsis.  I also picked up an iPad, which I hope to be able to really mess around with this weekend, so I can begin a soon-to-be web-based project.

Comics Experience With Andy Schmidt - Last night was the final class for this six-week course, and now that it is over I can say that it was tremendously informative and helpful, not to mention fun.  The google group, comprised of my fellow students, provided vital information for my script and it turned out all the better for it.  Currently, my work is in Andy's hands and he will be providing a detailed critique over the next two weeks.  Once I have it back and I make the necessary changes, my fellow classmates and I will begin the process--on our own--to find artists and to eventually have our stories self-published in an anthology.  Should be a lot more work, but will be fun and worth it.  Also need to mention that Andy gave everyone who was interested a free month to the Comics Experience Comic Creators Workshop, where all aspects of comics creation are discussed and critiqued.  Should continue to be valuable and vital to my goals as a writer.

The Goon Volume 2: My Murderous Childhood & other Grievous Years - Written and drawn by Eric Powell.  The origin of the Goon and Franky is explained in this one, and it is not what I expected.  The story continues to be oddly beautiful and the characters even more entertaining than before.  Horny sea-hags, pie-addicted skunk apes, an army of cannibalistic hoboes, and of course zombies sucked me in even further, and now I have to get all of the rest of the tpb's.  Oh whoa is me, and my pocket book.  I have volumes 3, 7 and 8 on their way to me via a deal that I could not pass up, and now I have to get 0, 4-6 and 9.  Pulpy goodness through and through.

The Goon Volume 2

The Atlantis Chronicles - written by Peter David with art by Esteban Maroto.   An incredible and complex story and mythology created by Peter David detailing the history of the rise and fall and rise and fall again of Atlantis.  Each issue is told by Atlantis's historical chronicler, an ever shifting character throughout the series who instills their own bias and voice when they take up the task of writing.  The first half of this seven issue mini-series details the court of King Orin and the feud that erupts between him and his brother, Shalako. Where Orin wishes to focus primarily on Atlantean technology, Shalako wishes to appease the sky god, Suula, and live a life of sorcery and mysticism.  The feud escalates over Orin's decision to construct a dome around the Atlantean city of Poseidonis as a deterent to the invading tribes envious of Atlantean technology.  Shalako predicts this will anger Suula and that disaster will strike all of Atlantis, which comes to pass and the city sinks below the waves.  There is an abrupt jump in time starting in issue number five, which was a bit disjointed, but a page or two in and I was hooked all over again.  Now if only issue number seven would arrive so that I can finish this wonderful series.  Highly recommended.

Atlantis Chronicles issue #1

Legend of the Seeker: The Complete First Season - Based on The Sword of Truth novels by Terry Goodkind, this fantasy series focuses on Richard Cypher, the seeker and his quest to destroy the power-mad Darken Rahl before he conquers the world.  Richard is set upon his path by Kahlen, a Confessor attempting to find the Seeker and a great wizard, Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander, to lead the charge against the evil that is Darken Rahl.
I expected this show to be somewhat cheesy and only mildly entertaining, and although correct in my first concern, I was wrong on the second; it is very well done and highly engrossing.  Now I have to finish the twenty plus episodes before it vanishes from Netflix streaming at the end of the month.  Definitely worth watching if you are a fan of fantasy shows.

Legend of the Seeker Season 1

Slice Into the Woods

Tulip Getting Sick Last Friday - Nothing makes you feel more powerless than trying to help a sick animal or child that comes to you for help.  My heart broke when Tulip came to me not knowing what was happening to her and wanting my help, and I was powerless to do anything other than be with her.  It started with her not eating all of her food and she was fairly sluggish on the little walk that we took before I went downtown for a couple of hours.  When I returned, I took her outside again to go to the bathroom and she proceeded to violently throw up about five times.  This happened every hour for seven hours straight.  Panic crept in and when Amy got home, we took her to the vet.  Thankfully, the kind aid told us that this would pass and that if we wanted to see the Dr. we could, but he recommended that we remove food and water for 24 hours to let the problem work itself out of her system and to call if she was not better the next day.  Tulip continued vomiting bile until 8:45 p.m. and then that was it.  The next day she wanted to play, despite being weak, and started to slowly eat bland food.  Poor puppy.  This sucked.

Douchebagapalooza Starring Gleen Beck and Sarah Palin on 9/11 - SATURDAY!!! SATURDAY!!! SATURDAY!!!  At the Dena'ina Civic and Convention Center in Anchorage, Alaska SARAH PALIN will be appearing LIVE for an evening of extreme patriotism the likes of which Alaska has never experienced before.  Also appearing LIVE on the center stage the King of Dignity himself, GLENN BECK.  Tickets available through Ticketmaster for $65* to $115* with a VIP More-Patriotic-Than-Other-Patriots ticket that allows a "meet and greet" with the man himself, GLENN BECK, for $200*.  Be sure to hit up the "wet section" to share a beer with your fellow patriots.  All proceeds from this HISTORIC event will go to...um...someone patriotic.^

*Prices do not reflect astronomical Ticketmaster fees
 ^It goes without saying that the fees will continue to NOT go to the 9/11 First Responders who still suffer from health issues related to this horrible tragedy.

Friday Slice of Heaven, Slice Into the Woods 09/10/2010

Still Thinking About Up in the Air...part 7.5

The final three weeks at the shady tech reseller couldn't go by fast enough.  I definitely had a spring in my step knowing that I was on my way out the door, and I was very ready to shut and lock it behind me on the way out.  The foolish and still naive part of me expected to at least receive a heartless email saying, "we appreciate your years of service and wish you the best in all of your endeavors," but I did not receive any such response.  No thank you's, no goodbyes, not even a "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, Chump."  Practically three years of my life were committed to the job that I was told would never move away and after two years they were off to join the dregs of the O.C. and they were mad that they did not get to fire me before I had quit.  The O.C.?  Seriously?  For all I know, part of their new benefits include a boob job and collagen implants for those who want them.  Oh well, stay shady and best of luck to you.

I began my first day at the apparel company excited and nervous, but happy for the fresh new start at a company that I had heard actually cared for their employees.  One of the first things I noticed as I began my tour of the building was that about 85%, possibly more, of the people working at the job were attractive with about 65% of those people being beautiful.  For the record, I am not being ageist in my statement, as there were plenty of people working for the company with many more years on me, and who would be considered "hot" by those who saw them.  That was a bit intimidating, but as long as the company stayed in Santa Barbara and it cared for me--just a little bit--I would be fine as one of the 15%.  Focus on nice Donist, focus on nice.

I immediately met some incredibly kind and sweet people who I still love dearly to this day, and despite everything that was to come from this upstart company's fiery demise, I will always be thankful for having the opportunity to meet them.  There was a steep learning curve for the job and the MRP system was fairly atrocious, which is odd seeing that it is from a company talked about often in the business and tech world, but I was able to learn things quick enough and I was assigned the international side of the company's biggest brand.

Being the stereotypical Donist that I am, and not being one for doing repetitive and mindless tasks over and over again, I began to find ways to trim down the processing time of tasks and to share that efficiency with some of my coworkers.  This was well received by those, who like me, would rather work on more important business tasks and to have more time to get coffee or baked goods from the bakery a few miles up the road.   There was one person, however, who did not appreciate change or taking a few minutes to install a simple macro, or to learn the appropriate steps that would make their life easier, but you can't please everyone.

Life was pretty good for those first few months, and I was...dare I say it...happy.  I had many friends, I was quickly learning many new things, I was appreciated by my bosses, the bosses were approachable and they actually bought donuts or bagels at times.  This is not to say that I did not work and that things were not expected of me, quite the opposite, but for once I felt like I was making a difference and the key phrase was appreciated.  Speaking of the word "appreciate", I quickly learned to appreciate the fact that the head of the purchasing department served as a buffer between the employees and the owner of the company.

I mentioned in the previous installment about this job how the owner of the apparel company has a loud, booming speaking voice, which could rattle the very foundation of the two story office building.  When he was upset or angry, however, that was a different matter entirely.  Months into the job, I was doing that thing I do at my desk, which sits directly outside of my director's office when the owner came stomping over and into the office.  He shut the door and proceeded to scream and yell at my boss's boss for around 25 to 30 minutes straight.  Now, this may not seem like that much time, but imagine screaming at someone for five minutes.  Okay, now imagine three minutes and then multiply that by 10.  If was fucking brutal.  I wanted to climb under my desk, curl up into fetal position and click my heels whispering, "There's no place like home."  Despite the door being closed, the owner's voice was so loud and clear that I could hear everything, although I cannot remember what the hell the problem actually had been.  About the midway point of the belittling of the director, I stood to look at some of my coworkers, who were only slightly shaken and they explained that I had nothing to worry about, and that the owner only verbally annihilated the higher ups, not the commoners.

The odd thing was that people were used to this type of behavior.  The screaming did not happen often, but it happened enough that everyone had heard it before.  When the owner had finished and stormed off from the director's office, I half expected to see him claw his bloodied carcass from out of the office and ask me to tell his wife that he loved her, but instead he calmly strolled out and asked me if I knew how to pull a couple of reports and if I could combine them all into some information for him, which I agreed to do if it meant it would save his life.  I was completely nonplused, he was his normal calm and cheerful self.  With trembling hands I quickly created the report which would become a staple in the company and prayed that I would not have to hear the director get yelled at so viciously ever again.  As it turned out, I never would, because he quit to go to a better job months later.

More to come....

Still Thinking About Up in the Air...part 7.5

Friday Slice of Heaven, Slice Into the Woods 09/02/2010

I'm actually starting this on Thursday as opposed to Friday for a reason that will be at the top of Slice of Heaven.  Starting and finishing on Friday is barely working out, as I miss out on that extra 45 minutes because of the need to go to Cajun Kitchen.  Whatchagonnnado?

Slice of Heaven


Friday Announced as "Off" at the Day Job.  Every once in a while work manages to surprise me, and thank god they announced that in addition to having Monday off for Labor Day, we also have Friday off as well.  I really need the four day weekend, as my attitude at work has been less than stellar as a result of too much nonsense that I will not go into.  Now I can spend Friday morning at Coffee Cat revising my 5-page comic script for class and possibly begin tightening up the first two chapters of the novel so that I can begin sending queries out.  Bonus Friday is my double-rainbow.  What does it mean?  Who cares...four day weekend.  'Nuff said.

The Goon Volume 1: Nothin' But Misery  written and drawn by Eric Powell.  Damnit!  I have been consuming graphic novels and comics alike at an astonishing rate and here comes the next big hit to my poor defenseless wallet.  Like Pokemon, you gotta catch them all.  The primary word to use when describing this title is fun.  The Goon is a book that seems to have stepped out of a noir crime film and onto the set of The Night Of the Living Dead.   The Goon, known only as The Goon, is not your typical hero.  In fact, he is no hero at all, but more a gangster than anything.  He shakes people down for money, kills without a second thought, and I love him for it.  Paired with his diminutive partner, Franky, the anti-hero patrols the streets killing zombies and monsters, while finding time to collect protection money and enjoy a slice of pie.  Also introduced in the book is The Buzzard, scourge of the undead, who I am sure will be showing up in many of the upcoming trades.  Beautiful art and great storytelling, definitely worth checking out.

The Goon Vol. 1: Nothin' But Misery

Creekside (Deano's) Pizza, garlic french fries, Maker's Mark with soda water, and beer.  You can't go wrong with this combination -- it is simply impossible.  Who would have ever thought that I would fulfill my lifelong dream of eating garlic french fries, my favorite pizza and sip a bourbon all at the same time?  Well, that shit went down last Friday and will be happening again most likely this Saturday. Plus, Tri-Tip and Artichoke hearts as a new topping to replace the lack of salami at Creekside...a completely acceptable alternative.


The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo written by Stieg Larsson.  This crime thriller is a good read and definitely worthy of all of the attention and praise that it has received.  It has most everything a Donist could ever want:  Scum-sucking entitled multi-national corporate douchebags, malevolent sex offenders getting their due in creative ways, a brilliant and hot tattooed girl who would have torn my heart out and kicked it into the gutter--check, check and check. A very good crime novel, although dated by the descriptions of the technology used by the female protagonist, which had me laughing a bit when I should have not been laughing.  

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

 The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo I finished the book and this happened to be streaming on Netflix, so it was the obvious choice for a Sunday movie at home.  Vastly different from the book in some ways that work better than the book, but be warned that the movie begins to divulge some secrets that are not mentioned until the second book The Girl Who Played With Fire.  A good movie in and of itself, but--of course--read the book first.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Mad Men Season Four "Waldorf Stories" - This show keeps getting better and will probably show up every week until the season finale in October.  Don Draper's world continues to crumble even when he receives some of the respect he has always wanted, Peggy makes a bold move to put a sexist art director in his place, and Roger Sterling remembers the first time he met Don.  Great episode.

Slice Into the Woods

Tulip and the Case of the Swollen Face - Yeah, this one is not a kids book (now there's an idea...hmmm).  Monday morning at about 6:15 AM, I was at the computer writing about the footwear company that I used to work at, when Tulip ran up to see me.  She does this every morning after she wakes up and after she comes in from going to the bathroom.  This time, though, I looked down to pet her and I could tell that something was wrong.  I sat on the ground and her face looked just plain odd and not right.  It was beginning to puff out and her eyes were beginning to partially swell shut and she crawled into my lap, completely scared.  She then proceeded to throw up three times and when Amy came back downstairs to see what I was freaking out about, she too began to lose her marbles.  I threw on my shoes, and was out the door to buy some Benedryl for the pup, but Amy then told me that she was breaking out in hives all over her stomach, too.  A quick trip to the store later and a call to the vet, and Tulip and I were on our way to St Francis Pet Clinic.  Dr. Morgan, who is great, gave her a shot in addition to the Benadryl that I had given her, but poor Tulip cried in pain when she was administered the shot and I felt horrible.  The swelling began to subside almost immediately and I worked from home to better keep an eye on her.  The Dr. said that it was most likely a bug bite from when she went outside in the morning.  Go to hell evil spiders!

I was too freaked out to take a picture of the hives, but here is a sad picture anyways.

A-Holes Who Steal Credit Card Information - Seriously?  Twice in less than a year.  This is getting ridiculous.  The first time was a security breach at a major bank who took part in the bail out...you would think the millions they won could have beefed up their security.  Although the charges this time were $12.00 at a Home Depot in Oregon and $3.00 for a bus pass or something in Idaho, I am glad that it was caught so quickly.  Seriously, if you are a scum sucking credit card thief, picking on people in the same--or more likely worse--financial condition than you find yourself gets you a prominent seat in a special hell.  Why not go for Bernie Madoff's credit card?  He's not going to notice $15.00 worth of charges, especially not while he is in prison.  Or go for the credit cards of health insurance CEO's who deny your claim for no reason other than you might pay the amount as opposed to contesting it.  Grrr.  Suck it.

Value Added Analysis Posting of Teacher Scores - @#$!ing Bull@#$@.  How the hell can you compare test score improvement for kids at multiple levels of learning, family support (or lack of it), lack of a child's own personal responsibility, income levels, class size and countless other factors?  How difficult of a task is it to realize that a child is not a widget/product that can be lumped into a statistical pool?  Sure, some teachers need to go--I had some really bad ones--but this harms and embarrasses the good ones.  Here is a thought:  If this goes through, why not post the salaries and personal efficiency scores of not just city officials (Bell and Vernon), but post the same for the CEO's and management of banks, health insurance providers, car manufacturers, etc.  Yes they are private companies, but if they took a bail out and/or deal heavily with the public at large, they should be open to public scrutiny and scoring as well.  I'm looking at you, evil Koch brothers.

Friday Slice of Heaven, Slice Into the Woods 09/02/2010