Friday, May 29, 2015

Friday Slice of Heaven, Slice into the Woods, 5/29/2015

Friday Slice of Heaven

Welcome back to Donist World. I’m Donist, and I am not joined by our CFO Obie (my friends’ Boston terrier) nor by our marketing director / administrative assistant / party planner / party maximizer Tulip (my dog, Obie’s sister). Yup, this week it’s all me at the Donist World corporate headquarters (Mom’s basement). Donist solo. I’m a lone wolf. I march to the beat of my own drummer. You see, my puppy executive team celebrated their sixth birthday on Monday and they decided to take the whole week off to celebrate the event in style. So, it’s just me working to maintain our status as a Fortune 320,000 company and…I can see them outside playing at the park, sipping dog water, and…are those tacos?! Pollo asado tacos!!! This blows, I’m outta here, it is Friday after all. So, why don’t y’all cut out early, de-stress, grab some tacos, and sip away at a strong ginger ale — or perhaps an iced tea, iced tea is nice — and enjoy this week’s post. Thank you for reading.

***Possible Spoilers Below***

Chew #49
Chew #49 - Written and lettered by John Layman, illustrated and colored by Rob Guillory, color assists by Taylor Wells, published by Image Comics. Poyo, the world’s most bad-a$$ rooster, is dead. Killed at the hands of his human—and equally cybernetic—partner, John Colby, who was also once Tony Chu’s partner. Now, as the vampiric Collector prepares for war, it seems that Poyo’s death just might have been part of the plan all along.

<gasp> <shockers> <re-gasp> We only have eleven more issues in this awesome series. Oh me, oh my, denizens. What ever will I do once this fabulous series ends? Sure, we might get an additional one-shot here or there before issue 60 rocks our socks, but still… <ugh> Okay, deep breaths, focus on the positive. Focus. On. The. Positive.

Thus the penultimate chapter in the “Blood Puddin’” storyline comes to a close, and we are left dangling with nervous anticipation as Tony prepares to take on the Collector next issue (I’m not spoiling anything, it’s pretty clear on the next cover). For many issues, the characters have suffered losses and been at odds, and finally we begin to see some hope that the Collector can be stopped. I am thrilled to see the characters actually working together and getting along (for the most part). It’s also exciting to see Amelia voluntarily wrecking havoc on the Collector’s forces alongside Olive and Savoy, with a reveal of Amelia and Tony using their powers in a groovy new way…which Layman then pokes fun of in typical Chew fashion.

Guillory’s art is as stunning as ever, with this issue providing the perfect mix of intense action and engaging drama, all the while keeping the storytelling tight and the humor flowing like a blackberry malt river (man, I wish such a thing existed). The action scenes especially rule this issue and I’m both thrilled and utterly confused by how someone as gargantuan as Savoy seemingly flies and dances through every fight as if he were the most graceful of dancers, but that’s the charm of Chew: you don’t care what’s realistic and what’s not. A fat ninja-type guy dodging a giant champagne cork as he somersaults through the air? Sure, why not. A teenager with deadly chocolate weaponry? Okay, I’m with ya. A gingerbread man FDA agent named Breadman? Yes, a million times yes, so long as Guillory puts his magic touch on the page and Layman writes the pretty words; the crazier the better.

So, if you haven’t been reading Chew, then the above little teaser for this issue probably has you scratching your head. I completely understand how mentioning cybernetic murder machine chickens and a certain vampire wannabe called the Collector in the first paragraph might be a tad confusing; this is without even broaching the topic of cibopaths and other food-based-powered people. What I cannot understand is not reading the most unique, and laugh-out-loud comic book on the stands. If that is your…situation, then you can remedy this grievous error and begin enriching your life with the power of this Donist World darling by picking up the inexpensive, over-sized, stuffed-to-the-gills Omnivore Edition. Read Chew. You’ll be glad you did. *No cybernetic murder machine chickens were harmed in the writing of this review. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Deadly Class #13
Deadly Class #13 - Written by Rick Remender, illustrated by Wes Craig, colored by Lee Loughridge, lettered by Rus Wooton, edited by Sebastian Girner, published by Image Comics. Maria captured by the drug cartel family who raised her as their own after killing her family before her eyes?! Marcus beaten and tossed off a bridge to plummet to his death?! All hope is lost…unless that education at Kings Dominion can be put to use.

Holy wowzers! Maria is a total bad-ass. Since the beginning of the series, I thought the character to be a bit more show than (fatal) tell. Yes, she always looked incredibly cool, but she didn’t do a whole lot…until this latest arc. Now that we have had a bit of her backstory, and seen her totally annihilate some really, really bad guys last issue, the creators depict her continuing her wave of mutilation through the first half of this issue and the result is stunning. I gasped and almost cheered aloud throughout her sequences and have since reread them a few times. The second half…well, not going to spoil, but let’s just say I let out another gasp, but for a totally different reason. Boy howdy, I really need see what happens next…really bad.

You already know I love Craig’s art, but the four pages of 100%-pure Maria carnage are something you must see to fully understand the impact of Craig’s storytelling prowess; the surrounding dramatic moments are the beautiful packaging. Then you add Loughridge’s colors throughout the entire sequence and I’m sure you’ll let out a gasp or two yourself. Wooton’s lettering fits in equally well as his spectacular sound effects meld into the artwork.

Aside from the cool premise of the series, what impresses me the most is just how in sync writer, artist, colorist, and letterer are with each issue; I hope to be reading this comic with all of the attached creators for some time to come. Deadly Class is not a book for the kiddies, but if you need a break from superheroes and events and whatnot, and a comic about a bunch of assassin high schoolers going through some crazy stuff raises your eyebrow, then this is the book for you. You can catch up via two trades and two issues, which I strongly encourage you to do. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

The Sandman:
Overture #5
The Sandman: Overture #5 - Written by Neil Gaiman, illustrated by J. H. Williams III, colored by Dave Stewert, lettered by Todd Klein, published by Vertigo Comics, a DC Comics imprint. When last we left Dream of the Endless, he was on a journey to…?…which led him to meet a feline personification of himself, and into the belly of a black hole (?), where he meets his mother. Now, because of — whatever the events were that actually led Dream on his quest to do whatever it is he is doing — the fate of not just the world, but the universes, are at stake.

Yes, yes, tongue in cheek, tongue in cheek, but it has honestly been so long since I read the last issue — and each issue before that — that I have only half a clue as to what the heck is going on. Did Dream meet his father last issue? Serious question, I don’t remember, and the annoying thing is that if I wanted to start the series over from the beginning, it is going to take some effort for me to dig up the actual issues from the closet of doom. But, good things come to those who wait…so long as those left waiting remember what it is they were actually waiting for.

One more point of confusion: What’s the deal with all the dongers on page seven? I know it’s not just my imagination or some Freudian nonsense going on in my wee Donist mind, but by golly, those are purple dongers in the last two panels of the page! What can they possibly mean? I have a few thoughts:

  1. They are a comment by the creators on the crazy incestuous stuff found in many mythologies.
  2. The dongers are breaded, which means Dream’s mother is serving him up some dick waffles. Make of it what you will.
  3. J. H. Williams III is annoyed with someone(s) and put them in there ala The Little Mermaid, as a veiled f_ you. Hmmmmm…
  4. It’s just a dream, and dreams are filthy with dongers, we all know it.
Who knows. This warrants some researching…

Anyways, Donist World primarily focuses on the positive, and this book is on here because I ultimately enjoyed it. Gaiman’s writing is lovely, poetic in its flow and pacing to a degree I wish I can someday obtain with my own writing. But, the art, oh my gawd, THE ART! Williams III has always given us something lovely to look at, whether it was Batwoman or Promethea, but this…this is something otherworldly, something heavenly. Williams III’s style changes depending upon the scene, and the layouts are beyond beautiful and complex. Every page of this issue, and the series for that matter, makes the wait and the price of admission worth it. Then you add in Stewart’s gorgeous color palette and his ability to change his coloring style to complement Williams III’s imagery and you have the prettiest comic on the stands.

So, yeah, delays, confusion, and dongers aside, The Sandman: Overture is one heck of a lovely book, and DC thankfully placed all solicits and ads at the back of the issue where they won’t harm the flow of the story. If you have not read Gaiman’s original The Sandman series, then this might not be the best place to start unless you want to see some stunning artwork, which if that is the case, run out to your LCS and get it. If you are already a The Sandman fan, then you already have this comic in your grubby little mitts, and although you probably forgot what happened in the previous issue, you were smiling by the time you finished reading this one. If you trade waited on this, then a hardcover should be available in time for Christmas, and that would be the way to go. The lyrical writing and the art alone makes this issue HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Slice Into the Woods

One Million Moms Is at it Again - This pro-censorship, freedom-hating group of bigoted dunces is at it again as they try to take away everyone’s right to see FOX’s Lucifer in 2016 after petitioning for the show’s cancellation. Of the “one million” moroms (mom + moron…get it), 5000 have signed the petition thus far, with 995,000 more morom signatures to go. They’re on their way, by golly! Anyhow, known for protesting the existence of openly gay Archie character Kevin Keller, and championing the great cause of eradicating the evil Girl Scouts of America who have a supposedly pro-LGBT “agenda,” they continue to try to dictate to the rest of us what we can watch, and what we can do in our own homes, not to mention how people raise their own children. If this group REALLY cared about children, maybe combating television shows (that are on waaaaaaay past their childrens’ bed time), comic books, and books is not the best use of their time and resources. Maybe, protecting their kids from…I don’t know…gun violence, going to war, or dying an early death after existing in and eating things from a polluted environment would be better causes to champion. Ugh, what total moroms.

and on that note…

(sung to the tune of The B-52s’s “Song for a Future Generation”)

Wanna hear ’bout high school-aged assassins?
Wanna hear ’bout murder machine chickens?
Go read Deadly Class and Chew now

Wanna hear ’bout Dream trapped in a black hole?
Wanna hear ’bout books to rock your socks off?
Go read The Sandman: Overture now

La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la


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