Friday, September 2, 2011

Friday Slice of Heaven, Slice Into the Woods 9/2/2011

(sung to the tune of Jay-Z "99 Problems")

If you've got comic problems I feel bad for you son
But this week's Donist World really shouldn't be one

I got the dish you see on the Locke and Key
Best get to your LCS before it's closed
Justice League's some big time "Money Cash Dough"
It's comics stupid, trust Donist he surely knows
The Sixth Gun's got mummies, yup it's got one of those
If you don't cry for Asher Cobb then your cold heart's been froze
Obie's the critic go bake him a casserole
If you don't like comics then go watch Jersey Shore
I got beef with FOX, no Locke and Key pilot. No show.
People really want to see it, That SO blows
At least put it on the damn iTunes
No go on Comic Con, I missed it there too, suckers
Oh well, Secret Avengers's cool
Just take a dip in the ol Donist comic book pool
Comic problems?  I feel bad for you son
But this week's Donist World really shouldn't be one
Hit me

Not sure yet, but this might be the last Donist World entry about comics.  You see, as I was writing the intro song I discovered my new found passion for the art rapping.  Comic book rapping to be exact.  I have sent Obie out to find me representation and to get me a dope record deal, which I have been lead to believe from those late night infomercials actually still exists.  We'll see, my faithful two readers, this time next year I should be rolling in cash-money from album sales and my hit single "Soul Gems, Warlock's Got 'Em, Beotch."

Friday Slice of Heaven


Locke & Key Vol. 2:
Head Games
Locke & Key Vol. 2: Head Games - Written by Joe Hill and illustrated by Gabriel Rodriguez, published by IDW.  Alrighty folks, I'm stupid.  I read the first installment of the amazing Locke & Key series almost a year ago, and wrote a poorly worded review of it here.  Although I loved it, I waited until now to pick up the next storyline and all I can say is "What the hell was I thinking for waiting so long?"
Dodge, posing as high school student Zack Wells, is free and tormenting Ellie Whedon, who he is now living with, as he attempts to befriend Tyler and Kinsey Locke in an attempt to gather more of the magical keys.  Bode reveals the Head Key that he found to his older sister, brother and Zack leaving the four to begin experimenting with the key that allows the user to cram most anything into their head and gain knowledge from the item.  More distressing is the ability to take things out of one's head, which can do more harm than good.  Also a look back at how Dodge ended up in the Wellhouse.
Locke & Key changes what was originally my top three favorite comics on the stands to the now top four comics on the stands.  I LOVE this book.  A slow-burn horror tale with some of the most relatable characters I have ever had the pleasure to read.  Hill writes an addictive story that I did not want to put down and have already reread it a second time.  So very good and something everyone MUST read.  VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Locke & Key Vol. 3:
Crown of Shadows
Locke & Key Vol. 3: Crown of Shadows - Written by Joe Hill and illustrated by Gabriel Rodriguez, published by IDW.  Thank goodness I ordered book three at the same time that I ordered the immensely enjoyable book two.
As the Locke children's mother continues to suffer an emotional breakdown, Dodge has succeeded in acquiring four of the keys (Anywhere, Echo, Ghost and Gender), but an altercation with the ghost of Sam Lesser sees the loss of one of those keys.  Kinsey, now minus certain components of her mind as a result of using the Head key, catches the eye of punker/mod Scot Kavanaugh and the pair along with two friends explore a cave that may very well take their lives.  Bode and Tyler discover the Giant key as Dodge locates the Shadow key, leading him to the Crown of Shadows and a renewed effort to locate the mysterious Black door.  With the Crown in his possession, Dodge unleashes all the shadows in the house to terrify and torment the Locke kids.  Finally, two more keys are found as the kids hold an unplanned intervention for their mother, Nina, concerning her alcoholism that goes all shades of wrong.
Damn.  This book gets better and better.  Locke & Key: Crown of Shadows has incredible dialogue, the like of which I can only dream of writing, and one of the most intriguing horror stories I have ever read.  Gabriel Rodriguez delivers some of his most stunning artwork to date with the best series of splash pages in comics.  My main problem with this book is that it has sucked me in completely and my LCS was out of volume four, which is a damn crying shame.  Just buy it!  VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Sixth Gun #14
The Sixth Gun #14 - Written by Cullen Bunn and illustrated by Tyler Crook (huh?), published by Oni Press.  This issue served to rattle the norm of what I was used to reading in The Sixth Gun, with a story that barely mentioned Drake Sinclair and did not mention Becky Montcrief at all.
Instead, we find the tale of Asher Cobb, the "9-Foot Mystery Mummy" who attempted to steal the body of General Oliander Bedford Hume, but was distracted at the sight of Drake Sinclair before he was knocked off the moving train.  This issue opens with a traveling sideshow barker telling a young boy about the life of Asher and his amazing abilities, and how his mother died during childbirth, leaving the doctor to raise the boy as his own.  Suffering from giantism and distrusted by the town folk, Asher formed a bond with Ruth, a kind girl who he grew to love.  Unfortunately, Asher also suffered from "The Sight" and could see the future, including the death of himself, followed by Ruth.  Desperate to change fate, he consults some witches who turn him into the monstrous mummy that now does the bidding of his dark masters.  We also learn what he whispered to Drake at the end of the previous issue.
I read this issue before bed where my first thought was what the hell?  Where's Drake, Becky and the guns?  And what's up with Hurtt's art?  I was falling asleep as I read, not for lack of wanting to read the book, but rather exhaustion, so I went to sleep.  The following morning I reread the comic and was awake enough to see that Brian Hurtt did not illustrate this issue, but rather Tyler Crook (Petrograd, BPRD) was used as stand-in artist.  Although I prefer Hurtt on the book because his art is what I am used to (and beautiful to boot), Crook's art style is similar at times and different enough at others to keep things interesting, primarily during Asher's premonitions.  The matter of the missing main cast was not a problem as Asher's history is interesting and appears to be part of the overall story and not just filler.   The bottom line is that I really enjoyed this issue from The Sixth Gun-verse and the title remains one of my top three four series currently in print.  HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
*Note - I can't wait to see The Sixth Gun on SyFy and The Damned on Showtime.  Huge congratulations to Bunn and Hurtt on this tremendous news.

Secret Avengers #16
Secret Avengers #16 - Written by Warren Ellis and illustrated by Jamie McKelvie, published by Marvel Comics.  Secret Avengers returns backed by one of the creators of some of my favorite all-time comics (The Authority, Planetary, Stormwatch), Warren Ellis, who instills a spark in a series that was beginning to see my interest wane.
This issue follows Steve Rogers, The Beast, Black Widow and Moon Knight as they explore a seemingly abandoned secret city located a mile under Cincinnati.  After exploring the wondrous locale, the four come into contact with members of the Shadow Council who have diabolical plans in store for the city and only the Secret Avengers stand between them and the death of hundreds of thousands of innocent people.  But The Beast has a plan, a plan with terrible repercussions that will trouble him for the rest of his days.
I was on the verge of removing Secret Avengers from my pull, but I decided to give the series another shot because of the new creative team; I am thankful I did.  Ellis brings his unique brand of humor and his knack for dialogue as well as enough action to keep any reader happy.  Then there is the McKelvie with his stylized art that gives, what has been a darker comic, an unanticipated look that I rather enjoyed.  McKelvie must have also been bribed to some degree on this series as he drew tons of different vehicles and buildings which I have heard are the bane of artists everywhere...perhaps next issue will see Ellis writing in tons of horses mixed with cars to really push his artist over the edge.  I enjoyed this issue and look forward to the next.  RECOMMENDED!

Justice League #1
Justice League #1 - Written by Geoff Johns and illustrated by Jim Lee, published by DC comics.  Okay, as I said last week, I will be writing some thoughts on every one of the DC 52 titles that I actually pick up--for better or for worse.  I read this issue from the perspective of the guy who has been interested in comic books for almost three and a half decades and as young Donist, freshly prepped to be tormented for the later parts of junior high and visiting the comic store with his two dollar weekly allowance--of course I would need more than two weeks allowance to buy this comic but that is neither here nor there.
Justice League opens with the Gotham Police in pursuit of Batman who is in pursuit of a goggled, froggy-faced guy with the ability to change into ever-more dangerous monsters.  Enter Green Lantern, who is cocky and a bit naive for someone in charge of watching over the planet, and the pair track down the monster who kills himself before planting a device and chanting the name of he-who-will-be-the-villain...who does not show up.  The pair then decide to track down Superman, because the device is of an alien nature and so is "that guy in Metropolis."  They might have made a grave mistake.
Old man Donist says that Justice League was fun overall, but felt like something was missing and he let out a groan or two with some of dialogue, but nothing too bad; he will pick up the next issue.  He wants to see Darkseid, one of his favorite villains.
Young boy Donist says that Justice League was cool and he wants to see Green Lantern and Batman fight Superman (who looks spiffy in his new outfit btw).  He wants to see Darkseid and Wonder Woman...oh yes...he's really interested in seeing Wonder Woman.
Never-read-a-comic-in-his-life-but-watches-all-the-cartoons-and-movies Donist thought this was interesting, but has no idea what the hell a Darkseid is and wonders where all of the other characters are.  He will give the next issue a try, but he is concerned about the price and is not completely sold on what all the hubbub is about.  Digital at $3.99 is not something he is interested in.  $1.99 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe, but $.99 even better.
All three incarnations of the Donist say: RECOMMENDED!

Slice Into the Woods

I Can't Watch the Locke & Key FOX Pilot - What the hell?!  Dancing With the Bores gets renewed season after season, yet a creative, thought-provoking pilot for a series based on a multiple award nominated/winning book gets a pass?  This just boggles my mind.  Have I seen the pilot?  No, but I would like to.  If if was available on iTunes or the PSN I would have already bought it and watched it...twice!  Now I'm going to have to resort to seedier means to gain access to this one episode and I really wish that was not the case.  Does anyone know of a back alley where I can buy a DVD of a handcam version of the Comic Con screener.  You know, one with people walking in front of the screen and loud mouth breathers.  I really want to see it and heck, I want to see the Wonder Woman pilot too.


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